Trust, Faith, and Hope in the Lord. He will set you free!
 
Know matter what I do or say I cant seam to do anything right or yet pleasing
to my mom. It is getting to the point were i can take so much of this junk
before I end up saying something that I know I should be saying. Its always a
contiune cycle with this. For me I don't want to say anything to anyone because
I don't want their own feelings to get hurt or end up in an argument. Its like
they can say what they want to say but when it comes to me to saying what i want
to say is a different story.


I am trying not to allow this junk to bother me but it is hard not to. I am angry right now what to say things that could or should be said nor not to be said. I want to cry, and yeah I am hurt and feeling of disappointed in with what has or is happening.


Dealing with this same junk over and over again for so long you'd think one would be use to it by now but that is not so.


I am done with it all. I am trying to lose weight and i have and I feel good. I have been running watching what I eat, and how much I eat.  I guess few weeks a go or a week ago she tell's me that she is proud of me then just the other day she say's My mom comes down on me saying that I need to try little harder or push my self more. I was doing good before they came home and someone stuck her noise in to what I was doing and I lissioned and I droped what I was doing. I know I need to kick her words and know what she would say out of my mind but that is going to be hard thing to do.  All I can do is run, walk, ect but then when that is all over i end up filling my face with food why because of the junk I am going threw and no wonder it is taken me so long to try
to lose the weight.


i am loosing hope with that and I just want to give up. All I want to here from my parents is positive not the nagitive.


How the I was going to start to swear and get angry. But I cannot allow that to take part of my life. There is so much other junk i could say truth is it would just end up being to much for me and it could just go on.


I have to say this as well, they have been good They have been allwoing me to live cheep rent, they helped me pay off my car, they helped pay for a course that didn't work out not only once but twice.


They day I can have a normal life to were it should be is when they are no
longer living. I can start to live.


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